When Pain Is Dismissed: Understanding Trauma Invalidation in the Jewish Community After October 7
Since the Hamas attacks on Isreal on October 7, 2023, many Jewish people and their allies have found themselves navigating not just trauma—but also the silence, rejection, and dismissal of that trauma. This experience is called trauma invalidation, and it’s real, painful, and distressingly common.
A recent academic article by trauma therapists Dr. Miri Bar-Halpern and Jaclyn Wolfman helps put words to what many in the Jewish community have been feeling. Published in 2025, their work explores how trauma invalidation has affected Jews around the world in the aftermath of October 7, offering both insight and validation for what many in the community have experienced.
What is Trauma Invalidation?
Trauma invalidation occurs when a person’s emotional pain or traumatic experience is dismissed, denied, or diminished. This can sound like:
“It’s complicated” – a phrase that sidelines the trauma you’ve just shared.
“What about what’s happening to them?” – a response that places political litmus tests on your right to grieve.
Silence – when people you expected to support you say nothing at all.
For many Jewish people, especially in the diaspora, this invalidation didn’t just come from strangers. It came from friends, colleagues, community groups, and even therapists.
Nine Ways Invalidation Can Happen
Bar-Halpern and Wolfman identify nine distinct ways trauma invalidation can manifest:
Being ignored or dismissed – when your fear or grief is met with indifference.
Emotional neglect – when people around you avoid or downplay your distress.
Criticism – when you're told you're overreacting or being dramatic.
Blame – when others imply you or your community somehow brought this on.
Misinterpretation – when your feelings are twisted or used to accuse you.
Denial of reality – when your version of events is questioned or denied.
Controlling responses – when people try to dictate how you should feel or speak.
Social exclusion – being left out of conversations, events, or communities.
Unequal treatment – when other communities’ traumas are treated as more valid or worthy of empathy.
These experiences aren’t “just in your head.” They can compound the trauma you’re already carrying and make healing much harder.
You Are Not Alone – And You’re Not Overreacting
Many Jewish people have reported feeling alone, anxious, and even ashamed after sharing their pain and being met with dismissal. Some have felt pressure to hide their identities in schools or workplaces. Others have stopped talking about the attacks altogether to avoid conflict.
This silence is not a solution—it’s a survival response. And it’s understandable. But you deserve to know that your pain matters.
What Can You Do?
If you’ve experienced trauma invalidation since October 7, here are a few ways to support your healing:
Name it: Recognising that what you experienced was invalidation is a powerful first step.
Find safe spaces: Whether it’s a trusted friend, therapist, or community group, seek out places where your experiences are welcomed and believed.
Reclaim your voice: It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel angry, afraid, or heartbroken. You don’t owe anyone a perfect explanation.
Avoid those who diminish you: When possible, give yourself permission to take space from relationships or environments that make you feel unsafe.
A Word for Allies and Professionals
If you’re a mental health professional, teacher, or community leader, now is the time to listen with empathy. Trauma-informed care means validating a person’s pain without judgment or political qualifiers. It means letting people be afraid, without needing them to apologise for it.
At Purple Rain Psychology, we support those who feel unseen in their suffering. We offer trauma-informed therapy grounded in empathy, cultural understanding, and community care. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to go through it alone.
Because your pain is real. And it deserves to be heard.
If this post has raised difficult feelings or if you need support, please reach out. We are here to listen or you can call lifeline 13 11 14.
References
Bar-Halpern, M., & Wolfman, J. (2025). Traumatic invalidation in the Jewish community after October 7. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 1–28. https://doi.org/10.1080/10911359.2025.2503441
